Hands On Parenting Part 2

Yesterday I read my hands on parenting post to my mother and she started to defend the way she parented to me.  My mother did the best parenting job she could given our situation at the time.  I told her I am not meaning my post to be a dig about her parenting skills, or the way anybody else parents .  I am not saying that everyone needs to be a hands on parent to raise great kids.  I parent the way  I do because of how I was raised. Even though I knew my mom loved me, I don't remember always feeling safe and secure growing up.  My mom has been married three times.  My second step dad and her were married when I was nineteen.  He has become the father in my life, my sister's, and my brother's lives.  He is the only grandpa that Jacob and Ashlynn know, and he is great at it.  Doug's dad died when Jacob was two, so Jacob and Ashlynn never knew him.  My first step father was an alchoholic.  The kind of alchoholic that gets up and starts drinking his vodka before work.  He chose vodka because nobody could smell it.  There were times that he was so mean to us.  My mom and him fought so much about his drinking that she was distracted from being a mom.  She didn't know where I was all of the time.  She didn't know all of the things that I was doing.  It is only by the grace of God that I didn't get hurt or into trouble.  I remember when I was thirteen I spent the night with a friend from school.  My mom did meet her mother briefly, but never checked up on us.  Her mother took us to a roller skating rink.  We skated from 7:00 p.m. to 11:00 p.m. while my friends mother sat in a tavern next door to the rink.   I had no idea that is what her mother was up to.  My friend did, because that was a normal thing for her mother to do.  After skating was over her mom's car was outside in the parking lot with her mom passed out in the back seat.  My friend who was thirteen drove us back to her house.  I don't know why I didn't call my mom.  Maybe it was because my dad would drive us around drunk, and I was thankful that her mother wasn't driving.  Maybe I thought I wouldn't get to be her friend anymore, or maybe that I thought my friend might get into trouble.  I do know that this is the kind of situation I am trying protect my children from.  I want them to feel safe and secure, so I hands on parent.  I am not telling anyone that they should too.  I am saying that if you are a hands on parent you are not alone.  You probably have a good reason for doing so. and don't feel ashamed for trying to protect your children.

Hands On Parenting

As a homeschool parent I have heard a lot about sheltering my children, or being an over protective parent.   The truth is my husband and I do try to shelter and protect them.  I think that it is my responsibility as a parent to try to keep them safe, and to instill in them values that will help them make good decisions for the rest of their lives.  I want them to know we disapprove of under age drinking, and all drug use.  I want to know who their friends are, and I want to approve of them.  I want to know where they are when they aren't with me.  What does every teenager who gets into trouble have in common with each other?  The answer is they have opportunity.  I don't want Jacob and Ashlynn to have an opportunity to get into trouble. I want our family to be the center of their life while they are growing up, the positive influence.  We spend our days together, we eat are meals together everyday in our dining room, and we talk about life while we are eating.  I expect Jacob and Ashlynn to contribute to our family by doing chores.  I think that chores teach a child responsibility, and life skills.  All of these things are hands on parenting.  According to a study by the Columbia University-based National Center on Addiction and Substance Abuse these things make Jacob and Ashlynn four times less likely to  participate in under age drinking or use drugs. 

Here are the twelve indicators the study used to see if a parent was hands on.
1. Do you expect to be told where your child is going in the evening or on weekends and told the truth about this?
2. Have you made it clear that you would be extremely upset to find your child using marijuana?
3. Do you know where your child is at all times, particularly after school and on the weekends?
4. Do you monitor what your child is watching on television?
5. Do you impose restrictions on the kind of music your child is allowed to buy?
6. Are you very aware of how your child is doing in school?
7. Do you monitor your child's internet usage?
8. Does your family typically have dinner together six nights a week?
9. Does your child have a weekend curfew?
10. Is an adult always at home when your child returns from school?
11. Is your child responsible for completing regular chores?
12.  Do you make sure the television is not on during dinner?

If you answered yes to ten or more of these questions you are a hands on parent.
I think a better term for this kind of parenting, is responsible parenting.  

Source: Dr. Ruth Peters. MSNBC

Christmas Decorating

We had a great Thanksgiving at my Parent's house.  My Mom's cooking was wonderful, she sent us home with a bunch of left-overs, and I got all of my laundry done.  Yeah!
I skipped Black Friday at the stores.  We decorated for Christmas instead.  Doug put the lights up outside.  Jacob and Ashlynn did most of the decorating inside our house.  They love putting up the decorations, and do such a nice job.  There wasn't much decorating left for me to do.   I loved holidays when they were younger, but it is so nice to have help with the holiday chores.  It is starting to feel a lot like Christmas.

Happy Thanksgiving

Yesterday we volunteered together as a family delivering thanksgiving meals to low income seniors.  I said a prayer this morning for all those people that will be alone this Thanksgiving and I thanked god for my family.  I am blessed with so many people I love in my life.  That is what I am thankful for today.  Happy Thanksgiving!

Pumpkin Pie

My guys (Doug and Jacob) love pie, and I love making it for them. I volunteered to make the pumpkin pie for Thanksgiving Dinner at my parents, so that is what I have been doing this morning.   My favorite, and easiest to make pie crust recipe is the one on the back of the Bob's Red Mill Whole Wheat Pastry Flour package. 

                                  Flaky Whole Wheat Pie Crust
2 cups Bob's Red Mill Whole Wheat Pastry Flour
1teaspoon Sea Salt
3/4 cup Unsalted Butter, chilled
5 to 8 tablespoons ice water

Sift flour and salt into a large mixing bowl.  Cut butter into 12 pieces and rub into dry ingredients until mixture resembles a coarse meal with some pea-size pieces.  Sprinkle water over mixture, one tablespoon at a time and knead lightly just until dough forms.  Form dough into a ball.  Cut in half and press each into a disc shape.  Wrap each disc in waxed paper or plastic wrap and refrigerate for 30 minutes before rolling.  Yield 2-9 inch single pie crust or 1-9 inch double pie crust.

The Washing Machine Quit Part 2

The Sears Repair Man came out to look at the washing machine yesterday.  The news is that I will not have my washing machine fixed until December 4.  The last time it broke it took Sears a month to fix it, so I wasn't surprised.  What really did surprise me is that it really hasn't upset me that much.   Don't get me wrong, I do want it fixed.  Maybe it is because of Thanksgiving, but I feel so so grateful for so many things.  I love my Husband and kids so much. They even came to the laundromat last Saturday to help me.  I get to spend my days with Jacob and Ashlynn, and I actually enjoy it.  My wonderful Mother  is cooking Thanksgiving Dinner for us, and letting me bring our laundry to wash while we are there.  My family and friends healthy and happy.  With all of the blessings that I have in my life, I guess it is hard to get down about a washing machine.

Life of Fred

Jacob started a new math curriculum today, Life of Fred.  It is different than any math curriculum I have seen.  It is written as a story about a six year old math professor where math naturally occurs in his daily life.  It looks fun, and Jacob asked if he could read it just for fun.  I am going to see how it goes.  Who knows?  Maybe his math won't be work for him, maybe it will be fun.

My Washing Machine Quit

Yesterday, I was washing my sheets in my washing machine and it decided to break.  It isn't the first time this year that it quit on me.   My washing machine is a front loader, in January it was leaking water out the front.  It took the repair man from Sears a month to finally figure out the right part, and fix it, while he was here he also sold me an extended warranty.  I called Sears to make a repair appointment, but if you have an extended warranty they try and help you fix it over the phone first.  I guess if they can't charge you for a service call they will try and be efficient.  The repair center went through all of the possible fixes and none of them worked.  The good news is they are sending someone tomorrow.  After I hung up the phone I gathered all of our laundry, sheets included and took it to the laundromat.  I am keeping my fingers crossed that it won't take a month to fix this time.

A Thanksgiving Tradition

I loved doing crafts with Jacob and Ashlynn when they were small, because it was fun for me, and it kept them entertained.  I liked ordering craft projects from Oriental Trading Company, because they were cheap, but almost all of their kits are sold by the dozen.  I would ask myself, would Jacob and Ashlynn want to make six of these?   When Jacob was in kindergarten I ordered a Thanksgiving craft project for the kids from them.  They were little trees of thanks, you write what you are thankful for on the leaves.  They have done these trees every year, except for one year when they made paper turkeys and wrote what they were thankful for on its feathers.  This year I got them out and they were so excited that I still had two left for them to do. I really enjoy reading what they are grateful for.  I guess these trees have become a tradition.  I am going to order another dozen for the next six years.

Poppy

We adopted a little kitten from the local animal shelter.  She has been so much fun to have with us, but we still are missing our Lilly cat very much.  There have been a lot of free kitten ads in the newspaper, after you get one of these free kittens its vaccinations, spay or neuter surgery they aren't really free.  We chose the local animal shelter because I don't want to encourage people to let their cats breed irresponsibly, and from an economical perspective  we saved money.  Poppy's adoption fee was $60.00, she had all of her vaccinations and she was spayed already.  If you are looking for a new pet a great website to find animal shelters near you is http://petfinder.com .

Where Did Your Beef Come From?

Yesterday after Jacob and Ashlynn were all done with their school work, we went on our monthly trip to Costco.  I love stocking up on toilet paper, paper towels, laundry soap, and all of the other essentials I am in need of.  The only problem I have on our Costco shopping trip days, is being exhausted and not really feeling like cooking dinner when we get home.  Knowing this I planned to make hamburger tater tot casserole for dinner.  My Mom used to make it when I was growing up and it was always one of my favorites.  I never made it for Jacob and Ashlynn when they were younger because they didn't care for hamburger meat.  I was thinking about that last night when I was cooking my casserole, and I might not have presented hamburger in the best way.  Before I had Jacob and Ashlynn there was the e-coli poisoning at Jack In The Box restaurants.  I don't think I really trusted hamburger after that, I rarely would eat or cook it.  Then there was all the news about mad cow disease.  Last year there were those undercover cameras in the slaughter lot of those downer cows, and I thought I would have to quit beef altogether.  After the downer cow thing I started to read Animal, Vegetable, Miracle, by Barbara Kingsolver.  It is about her family trying to eat nothing but local food for one year.  I was so inspired that I talked to Doug and we decided to purchase 1/2  a side of grass fed beef from a local homeschool family farm.  I loved it because I got to try lots of new recipes for all of the beef and I knew it was healthy.  I have read on the internet about grass fed beef being healthier, it has between 15% to 85% less saturated fat because the cows are not obese, and it is high in omega 3s and zinc.  We used up all of last years beef so we bought another side a couple of weeks ago.  I like supporting a local family, and I really like not having to worry about the quality of our meat.  Oh, the price per pound is $2.75, you can't beat that.  A great place to find local food is http://www.localharvest.org

Geography

We finally used our new geography curriculum last week (Visualize World Geography).  I think  the reason it took me so long to have Jacob and Ashlynn start using this curriculum, is it looked so easy to me that I kept thinking there was a part of it that I was missing.  I reviewed the book carefully and found out I wasn't missing anything.
Our first lesson was Chile, Argentina, and Bolivia.  The picture in the book made these country's boundaries look like a chili pepper.  I read to Jacob and Ashlynn which country made up which part, and they colored each country's flag while I told them statistics about each country. I think that the lesson lasted about twenty minutes. 
Yesterday in history we were studying the Emperors of Brazil.  I gave Jacob and Ashlynn a blank map of South America and I showed them where Brazil was and told them to label it.  Then I asked them if they remembered our geography lesson?
Jacob said, "Of course with the picture of the chili pepper, I don't think I will ever forget where Chile, Argentina, and Bolivia are on a map".
I'm giving Visualize World Geography two thumbs up!

Macaroni and Cheese

I love making this Macaroni and Cheese when I know I am going to have a busy evening.

                                                  
                                  Slow Cooker Macaroni and Cheese

   
8 ounces of elbow macaroni cooked until al dente.  (I like using the Quinoa Macaroni Noodles for this recipe.)
4 cups shredded sharp cheddar cheese
1 cup pureed acorn squash
1 can evaporated milk
1/2 teaspoon black pepper
1/4 cup sauteed onions(optional)

1. Coat your slow cooker with cooking spray, put the noodles in the slow cooker. In a large bowl mix 3 1/2 cups cheese, evaporated milk, squash, pepper, and onions.  Pour mixture over noodles, stir.  Sprinkle with remaining cheese.
2. Cover and cook on low for 4 hours, do not stir until finished cooking.  Enjoy!

Crazy Vegetable Puree Lady

I gave Jacob and Ashlynn a home economics assignment this week. They each had to choose a dinner that they wanted to cook, and it couldn't cost more than $10.00.  I did tell them that they could use what food I already had, and it wouldn't count towards their budget.  Doug thought that I should have made them buy the whole meal for under$10.00, but I think that teaching them to use what we have is important too. 
Ashlynn chose sweet and sour pork and fried rice.  She needed to buy pineapple, green pepper, and carrots.  We had all of the other ingredients.

                                            She did a great job!

Jacob chose linguine alfredo. The only thing he needed to buy was parmesan cheese.  I was excited for this recipe because I had pureed cauliflower in the freezer that I thought I might be able to convince him to put in the sauce.  I know from experience that parmesan cheese covers the taste of pureed cauliflower.  As Jacob was cooking I showed him my bag of cauliflower puree, and asked him if he would mind if I put a little in.  Jacob said that I could put in a little.  I took the bag and poured all of the puree in the sauce.
Jacob said," You can't help yourself can you?"
"You are the crazy vegetable puree lady."

It was wonderful, and you couldn't even taste the cauliflower.  I think he is right, and I will take the title proudly, Crazy Vegetable Puree Lady.

I love this life!

Gratitude

Today I'm feeling so grateful that I spend my days with Jacob and Ashlynn, two people that I love so much!  It is a wonderful life!

Potato Leek Soup

I love making soup. This taste like baked potato soup, it is very easy to make, and Jacob and Ashlynn love it.  We studied the potato famine in Ireland this week, and this was a good recipe to make for lunch.

                                            Potato Leek Soup

8 Yukon Gold potatoes, peeled and cubed
2 leeks, sliced
1 shallot, minced
2 tablespoons butter
4 cups chicken broth

1.  In a large saucepan melt butter, saute leeks and shallot until translucent.  Pour in potatoes and chicken broth, bring to a boil.  Cook until potatoes are tender, about 10 minutes.  Take off heat and let cool, for about one hour.

2. Blend the soup in a blender for about 30 seconds, or until you get the consistency you want.  Jacob and Ashlynn love creamy, and Doug loves this soup to be chunky.  Reheat the soup in the saucepan.  Serve hot.  Garnish with cheddar cheese, sour cream, and chives.

Veterans Day

I have been trying to come up with a way we can honor Veterans on Veterans Day, I found website http://www.amillionthanks.org/ where we can send thank you cards to members of the military who are overseas.  Today we said a prayer for all those members of our military who have sacrificed to serve our country, and we are writing thank you cards to three soldiers who are making that sacrifice now.  God Bless Our Veterans!

Homeschooling With Love

Today was not the most productive homeschooling day we have had.  It was math test day, usually the kids whip right through their test.  Today it took Jacob two hours to complete his test.  He did take a couple of breaks, but he has never come close to taking so long.  When I checked his work I saw that he had gotten four math problems wrong.  I started to feel panicky.  Am I failing to teach Jacob math?  Jacob and I went over the problems that needed correcting, three were just miscalculations that he corrected, but I found out that we need to revisit dividing fractions.  He is forgeting some of the steps.  That is what we will be working on for his math tomorrow.  I called my friend Lisa to tell her I was feeling a little inadequate.  She listened and reminded me that if he were in school chances are good that this review wouldn't occur.  His teacher would have to move on for the sake of the rest of the class.  All of a sudden I felt much better, and so grateful that we our homeschoolers.  I am not a perfect teacher, but when Jacob and Ashlynn struggle learning something, I will take the time to keep working with them, and I will keep trying to find different ways to teach until they have mastered what they were trying to learn.

Homeschool Blog Awards

I am so grateful to be nominated for Best New Homeschool Blog!  I love looking at all the Homeschool Blogs that have been nominated!  There are so many talented people in this world!

My Tips For Happy Homeschooling Days

After homeschooling Jacob and Ashlynn for three years we have had our good days and bad days.  Here are things I have found help us have more good days.

1. I try to make sure that we start our day with a healthy breakfast, that we eat together.
2. I make sure all of my chores are done when we start school, so that I'm not distracted thinking about what I need to get done while I'm teaching Jacob and Ashlynn.
3 . I let Jacob and Ashlynn sleep until they wake up on their own.  If I notice that they are sleeping in later than I would like, I will have us all go to sleep earlier.
4. There are so many ways to homeschool, and there are so many curriculum choices so if something isn't working I will switch to something else.  We tried three grammar curricula until we found one that worked.
5. We have a no television, computer, and video game rule during the day. 
6. We have a no complaining about school work rule only suggestions about how they would rather learn something.  I find it grating to hear complaining after I have spent time planning their work.
7. If Jacob and Ashlynn start getting cranky, or lose concentration, I offer a 15 minute break.
8. Every couple months we start to slow down and I know it is time for a long weekend.  Instead of school we will go somewhere or have a game day.
9. If one of us is on edge and having a bad day I never forget the hokey poky.  It can really turn the day around.
10. If we are feeling cooped up, it helps to take a break and go for a walk.

Pumpkin Cookies

We have been trying to make our own pumpkin cookie recipe.  We wanted a cookie that was like a pumpkin snickerdoodle.  After a failed try last week, today we struck success. 

                                               Our Pumpkindoodles

Here is the recipe:
1/2 cup butter
1/2 cup brown sugar
1/2 cup granulated sugar
1 egg
1 cup of pureed pumpkin
1 teaspoon baking powder
1 teaspoon baking soda
1/4 salt
1 teaspoon pumpkin pie spice
1 teaspoon vanilla
3 cups of all purpose-flour.

1/4 cup granulated sugar& 2 teaspoons cinnamon, mix together

Preheat 375

1. In a medium bowl mix all of the wet ingredients. In a separate bowl mix the dry ingredients. Combine the wet and dry ingredients,mix together.

2. Shape the  dough into 1 inch balls. Roll the balls into the sugar cinnamon mixture.  Place on a cookie sheet.  Flatten with the bottom of a glass, so that they are 1/2 inch thick.

3. Bake for 10 to 12 minutes.  Remove the cookies from the cookie sheet.  Let cool on a wire rack.

Enjoy!

Our Friday Off

Yesterday we were going to visit my friend Lisa and her kids.  We ended up not going because I had a sore throat.  I felt great other than the sore throat, no fever or cough.  When I talked to Lisa in the morning she said the swine flu starts with a sore throat. Normally I wouldn't stay home for a cold or a mild sore throat, but with all the hoopla about the swine flu, I decided not to go. I don't want to get anybody sick, especially kids.  We haven't gotten the vaccination for the swine flu, and I'm not sure we are going to.  I'm still waiting to see how the flu season progresses and if there will be any vaccine available for us. 

I wasn't feeling really sick, and I like to get out of the house on Fridays so we decided to drive to the coast and see the ocean.   We had watched the news and they were reporting 20 to 25 foot waves were expected on the coast.
I

                                                        It was windy!

                 It was a good day, but we did miss seeing our friends.

Fall Art

This afternoon we made pictures of fall trees.  I told Jacob and Ashlynn to start by making a "Y" shape for the trunk.  Jacob asked if he could choose any letter, or if it had to be a "Y".  I told him it didn't matter to me. I don't want to stifle his artistic vision.

 Here are the masterpieces

A Lot of Science Fun!

                                    We had fun with science yesterday!

Demonstrating a solar eclipse.

 

The cup that Ashlynn was spinning around was half full.  Why didn't the water spill out?  Centrifugal force of course!

These experiments came from Earth Science For Every Kid by Janice Vancleave

Ashlynn's First Apple Pie!

Ashlynn made her first apple pie without my help yesterday at her baking club.  It turned out so well that there is only one piece left.

Yummy!

Our Homeschool Day

When I was preparing to homeschool Jacob and Ashlynn our first year, I made a schedule for our days. I wanted to replicate a public school day so that they would keep up with their peers.

Here is what I thought homeschooling would look like:

9:00 School Starts Pledge of Allegiance
9:05 Math
10:00 Spelling
10:30 Recess
10:45 Reading
11:30 Grammar
12:20 Lunch and recess
1:15 Science or History
2:15 Writing
2:50 Cursive
3:10 Schools ends

Trying to adhere to that schedule made us miserable so I became more flexible.
Here is what our day looks like now:

9:15 Start School Pledge of Allegiance and 10 minutes of yoga or stretching
Next is Math
Then Spelling
Then Grammar or Writing
Then Reading or Literature
12:20 Lunch and a game
Then History on Mondays, Science on Tuesdays, Art on Wednesdays, and Geography on Thursdays
 Jacob and Ashlynn decide when to take breaks. 

 We don't always get to everything, but I don't worry.   Now my goal is to enjoy our time together, not to compete against public school.  I know that Jacob and Ashlynn are happy and that they like learning.  That is what I want for them.

Our Lilly Cat

Our cat Lilly died on Halloween.  I found her underneath our coffee table in the living room five minutes before my family arrived at my house for our Halloween party.  I noticed a couple of weeks ago that she had been losing weight, which I thought was either because she was sick or that I had moved her food up higher so she would have to climb to get to it this summer.  Other than her weight loss she seemed fine, she was eating, drinking, and interacting with us.  I thought I would take her to the vet if she started acting sick.  She was only nine years old, but she had been obese since she was six months old so I'm sure that impacted her health.  This last winter when I took her to the vet for her vaccinations they tested her blood for all sorts of diseases and she was healthy so whatever was wrong with her came on fast.  On Saturday when my family got here we all gathered around her and my Mom said a prayer for her.  We still had such a nice Halloween with my family and I was grateful that they were here the day that our Lilly cat passed away. I wish that I had realized how sick she was, not because I feel guilty, but because we are going to miss her.  We loved her very much. 

The First Day of November

We had such a nice Halloween with family.  It was my nephews first Halloween and we were so happy to spend it with him!


Here is a yummy soup recipe I made for my sister Tammy yesterday:

                                                       Black Bean and Rice Soup

2 cans of black beans drained
1 1/2 cups cooked brown rice
4 cups vegetable broth
1/2 cup chopped onions
1 can fire roasted tomatoes
1 teaspoon cumin

Pour all of the ingredients into a 3 quart saucepan.  Heat to boiling, stirring occasionally; reduce heat.  Simmer for 25 minutes, stirring occasionally.  Serve with tortilla chips.
Enjoy!